


A Hundred Years From Today

by TigerPrawn



Series: ABO/Omegaverse Fics by TigerPrawn [16]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Explicit for future chapters, First Time, Kissing, Knotting, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Minor Character Death, My First Work in This Fandom, Omega Steve Rogers, Rimming, Star-crossed, Steve gets a clue, Steve has a secret, Steve is clueless, Tagging as I go, Teen Angst, Teenagers, Time Skips, Work In Progress, bucky loves steve, kind of, mention of Sarah Roger's funeral, that scuffle in the alley, trip to the World Fair
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-11 15:18:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7897729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TigerPrawn/pseuds/TigerPrawn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky and Steve have been friends since forever, but when Steve asks Bucky for help during his first heat it drives a wedge between them that will echo through the years.</p><p>Title from the 1933 song <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qsHys9X9Os">A Hundred Years From Today</a></p><p>
  <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/22015927@N07/35837880052/in/dateposted/"></a>
  <img/>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [santino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/santino/gifts).



> My first work in this fandom, be gentle!
> 
> I am a Marvel fan and read the comics but I'm actually not a huge fan of Captain America in them, and also thought this idea would work well in-line with the movie plots so decided to keep it MCU. Hopefully you all like it. 
> 
> I will be updating fortnightly.

**1933 - New York**

“Sorry James, he’s sick, but I’ll tell him you stopped by.” 

Bucky frowned as the door closed. It wasn’t like Mrs Rogers to not invite him in for some lemonade or something. He’d been around plenty of times when Steve was sick. This was really strange and sat unhappily in his gut. The hurried way she had sent him away, the nervous look on her face. Something wasn’t right. 

He looked at the door and considered knocking again but decided maybe the direct approach was best. He got back out on the street and moved around the back to climb the fire escape. He’d been best friends with Steve for as long as he could remember. They were a matching pair at school - evened each other out. Steve was smart and helped Bucky in the subjects he wasn’t so good at, and Bucky taught Steve how to throw a punch. And, of course, was there to throw the second punch when Steve’s ineffectual first one did nothing to deter a bully. They were peas in a pod and saw each other every day, even at the weekends. He’d never been turned away before and it had him worried. What if Steve had had a really bad asthma attack and his mom was just trying to stop Bucky from worrying. What if he were in the hospital? 

Bucky felt a wave of panic and a tug at his heart. If anything happened to Steve he just didn’t know what he would do. He pushed the pain down, knowing it was no good to dwell on it. They were kids, so everyone said. They didn’t know their own minds as far as adults were concerned. He certainly didn’t know Steve’s. As well as they knew each other, as much as he knew of his friend, he had never been able to work out whether Steve felt it too - the urge sometimes, to kiss him. 

As he climbed the fire escape an unusual scent grew around him, almost like climbing a mountain and ascending through a layer of mist. It wasn’t visible and yet it seemed to make the air thick with - something. Somewhere deep in his brain there was a click and the scent at once resolved itself and his dick twitched. 

_Holy shit._

Steve was in heat. No wonder his mum sent him away. Bucky had presented as Alpha two summers earlier when he had hit puberty. With both Steve’s parents being Betas and his own puberty lagging a little, everyone had just assumed…

But no. Here was the evidence. At once Bucky’s heart swelled and broke. He had the sudden urge to mate and claim Steve - which of course he wouldn’t. They learned about these primitive urges in biology class, and it was simply a case of ignoring them. Teenagers may have acted on them in the middle ages, but in this modern day and age they had their whole lives to plan - future careers, travel, the world was at their feet! Mating and bonding had to be a considered thing. Even so, Bucky’s heart ached as he thought of the future and saw only Steve. Wanted only Steve. 

He hesitated for a moment, knowing he should climb back down, willing himself to do it. Instead he found himself taking the route he had hundreds of times before - onto the gantry, into the small balcony, shuffle along to Steve’s ledge and in through his window. Except he paused at the window - another hesitation. The scent was so strong now, cloying and sweet in his throat with every breath. 

He could make out Steve on his bed. The scrawny teen was naked and panting, laid out on his back, his hands gripping the sheets and his eyes squeezed shut. He looked exhausted. Bucky felt a burning need within him to go to Steve and help him. He let out an involuntary and soft groan as the thought hardened his cock. He palmed his jeans for a moment trying to find some relief. He knew he had to leave. Of course Mrs Rogers hadn’t wanted him near Steve right now. 

He had just about worked up the strength of will to turn away when Steve perked suddenly. He sniffed at the air and then turned sharply to the window. His eyes were blown wide and his mouth fell open a little. 

The Steve Bucky knew would have been mortified. Would have covered himself up and turned a deep shade of red. Instead Steve was immediately at the window, he pulled it up so hard that it banged when frame hit frame, grabbed hold of Bucky and hauled him in - Bucky spilling through the window and onto the floor. Before Bucky even had a chance to right himself and get to his feet, Steve was pinning him to the floor, rutting against him so that their cocks rubbed together, through denim. Steve’s mouth was on his then and Bucky wilted. 

Kissing Steve, he was finally kissing Steve. 

He pulled the omega into his arms and rolled them so that Steve lay under him. He found a better angle to kiss, a better angle to dry hump. Steve groaned and pulled his legs up around Bucky, moving his hips into the alpha’s motions. 

A long groan from Steve and the omega turned his head, breaking the kiss enough to speak.

“Alpha! Knot please… alpha… you… knot…” The words were babbled and incoherent as though all his brain power was going to hips, and his hands which were now deftly working Bucky’s belt buckle. 

A lump rose in Bucky’s throat as he looked down at Steve’s glazed and blown eyes. There was no love there, no desire beyond a biological need. It wasn’t his own look of longing and adoration that he saw reflected back at him. 

“No Steve!” He pulled off but had to scrabble from the omega’s clutchy hands that tried to find purchase and pull him back. Steve moved after him and whimpered when Bucky pushed him back as gently as he could.

“Alpha…” a breathy, pleading, moan that tugged through Bucky from his throat to his balls. 

“No!” A resolute reply that was as much for himself as for Steve. “Please Steve, let me help you.”

“Yes, help me… please… knot me… please… help.” 

Bucky felt tears sting at the corner of his eyes. He knew from class about ruts and the basics of biology, but they never said much about heats - it was as much a taboo as vaginas. So equally there was always schoolyard gossip about how these things worked. He knew enough that the first few times omegas couldn’t control themselves - not until they were used to the hormonal changes it brought on. Idiots at school talked about sex mad omegas, hungry for cock. How they would scent them out and knot them if they could. All talk, he was sure. But now he was at least seeing a little truth in it - this wasn’t Steve. This was a body coursing with hormones it had never processed before, driving him to fulfill a biological imperative. 

The truth was, Bucky could have been any unmated, unrelated alpha as far as Steve was currently concerned. And that hurt.

Bucky shook the thoughts from his head and stood up, dragging Steve with him and then holding him close. Keeping him tight within his arms with the omega alternating between struggling and trying to rub his scent onto him. He wasn’t sure what he could do, what did alphas do to help other than have sex? And that, despite his throbbing erection that Steve was currently trying to rub himself against, was not going to happen. 

He moved to the bed and thought about setting Steve down there to rest, but knew as soon as he let go the omega would be all over him again. 

_Would it be wrong to tie him up somehow? Yes, Bucky, really wrong. Idiot!_

Even so his eyes scanned the room wondering if there was a belt or something hanging around. His gaze landed on a box next to the bed, the lid not quite placed on it and something plastic looking inside. The box itself appeared almost medical, like some kind of first aid box, only it was yellow. Bucky nudged it with his foot out of curiosity and the lid fell aside completely. 

“Jesus fucking Christ.” He muttered, managing to keep his voice low out of habit in this house - Steve’s mom didn’t much care for profanities. He didn’t manage much else though, the shock at the contents causing him to drop Steve completely. This time though the omega didn’t come for him but for the lid of the box, putting it back on and looking up pleadingly. 

“Not that, you, please… you.” 

He picked Steve up and moved him onto the bed, before taking a seat himself and grabbing the box. Steve gave a whimper as he did and curled into Bucky’s side muttering quiet protestations. 

Bucky ignored his shaking hands as he opened the box. This was something secret, something only for omegas and he felt embarrassed and intrusive - but maybe it could help Steve. 

He took a breath before opening the box. Inside was a plastic object in the shape of a penis, an inflated knot at the base. He took hold of it and rolled it over in his hands whilst Steve continued to hide himself beside him. It was hard, solid, not like a real penis. It made Bucky wince to think of that… of Steve… He swallowed.

At the bottom of the box was an information leaflet - _“Omega Heats”_ Bucky flicked quickly through the scant few pages. A few lines about being an adult now that your heat had started; Your doctor would have provided this heat kit for your relief; Instructions on how to use the “knotting tool”. _Knotting tool?_ Bucky felt sick. 

He’d never thought much before about what omegas had to go through, but he had never even imagined something like this. 

He turned to look at Steve and found that he had fallen asleep. He looked exhausted and sweaty. He was still panting lightly and shook now and then. Bucky took the chance to read the leaflet properly - omegas needed to be knotted, it was the only way to relieve the discomfort of heat. Otherwise it would be long and painful and could do serious medical damage in the long run. Bucky felt so torn. Steve’s mom and doctor obviously saw this kit as adequate. It must be a standard for teenage omegas. But, Bucky couldn’t help but not be ok with Steve having to resort to this. Not Steve. Not his… 

Bucky’s thoughts were brought back to the room by a low sound almost like a purr. He realised immediately it was Steve and discovered that he had absentmindedly begun rubbing small and gentle circles at the base of the omega’s back. 

Whilst Bucky studied his face he moved his hand. Curiosity getting the better of him and his pulse racing, he slid his hand down over Steve’s ass to his thighs and felt the sticky slick that had coated them. It sent a shudder through him and made his balls ache. If he had gone into puberty right now, he probably wouldn’t have been able to control himself. 

He was thankful that he’d had almost two years to adjust or he would be a slobbering mess. Bucky moved his hand quickly back to where it had been. 

Steve’s eyes suddenly fluttered open a little, making Bucky jump and flush, as though he had just been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been. Which was of course the case. 

There was a slight frown and Steve’s eyes didn’t look as dilated, maybe the heat had cooled for a short while - the leaflet said it would come in waves. 

“Bucky…?” Steve looked confused to see him. “I was dreaming about you.” his smile was slight and barely there but it warmed Bucky anyway. 

“I was worried, your mom said you were sick.”

“I…” Steve flushed red. Bucky was grateful he seemed too weak and maybe still a bit too out of it to realise he was buck naked and leaking slick everywhere. 

“It’s ok. I’m glad you are ok.” Bucky was rubbing circles again. Realising somewhere in the back of his mind he’d seen his dad rub the same comforting, gentling circles into his mom’s back so many times. 

“Everything hurts.” Steve told him with a slight whimper. “I… The doctor gave me…”

“I know. It’s ok.”

“It’s not ok. I don’t want it. It hurts and it’s… I can’t. I need…” Words almost whimpered. Bucky bit his lower lip and willed Steve not to finish the sentence. It had been bad enough before, but in this pretty lucid state it would be so painful to refuse. Which he knew he had to. “Bucky, would you help me? I mean… I know we’re friends and I don’t want to make things awkward…”

 _Awkward!_ If only that would be the worst of it. In truth if they were only friends Bucky might have considered it. But, he had to be truthful to himself even if no one else. He was in love with Steve Rogers, his best friend, his childhood companion. Having sex with Steve would tear him apart. There was no way he could detach himself from it, from his love. 

He looked at Steve, searching for something. Understanding? Love? There was nothing. Nothing except eagerness and hope. But all for something Bucky was unable to give up of himself. 

“I… I’m sorry Steve. I can’t… I’m sorry.” He stood and moved back to the window, knowing that Steve’s eyes tracked him. 

“I’m… I understand. I shouldn’t have… it was wrong of me to ask.” Steve stuttered out the words. Bucky took one last look back to see Steve’s crestfallen features and the tears in his eyes. 

There was so much he wanted to say that he didn’t dare say anything at all. He turned and climbed out the window. He swallowed his own tears as he descended the fire escape listening to Steve’s sobs.

*

It was a couple of weeks before Steve saw Bucky properly again, and he only had a vague memory of the alpha being in his room - soothing him. He had felt so comforted, the only small bit of peace he had during those few arduous days. 

He’d been back at school four days, endured the side eyed glances and sniggers in the corridors for the first two, before people moved on to more interesting gossip than _did you hear, Rogers went into heat? Gross!_. But during that time he’d barely seen Bucky, and only then from afar. He managed once to catch his eye as they were leaving a class but Bucky just paled and was gone before Steve could catch up. 

Now they stood by the school gate, Steve had waited and grabbed Bucky’s arm as the alpha, head ducked, had attempted to leave after school ended. 

“Buck… I’m sorry.” He felt terrible, of course. He couldn’t believe he’d asked his oldest and closest friend to knot him. He knew it was the heat talking, and it was bad to put Bucky in that position. But, he also felt - hurt. He knew he shouldn’t and had no real right to, but the memory - no matter how vague and hazy - of Bucky turning him down sent a cold stab through him. 

They were friends, best friends. They had relied on each other for so much over the years and... it was just sex. Maybe it was different for an alpha. They didn’t need to just get through it, to just endure and wait until the heat was over. That’s all that was drummed into omegas - _endure_. It wasn’t even supposed to be enjoyable, and with the knotting tool he’d been provided he was certain there was no way sex was at all pleasant for omegas, ever. 

He was sure it was wrong, but even so, he couldn’t help but be angry at Bucky. But it didn’t matter. He didn’t want to lose his friend over it and either way, he shouldn’t have asked. It was obviously too much to ask. And he wouldn’t have done if he hadn’t been out of his mind in heat. He just wanted them to get back to the way things were.  
Bucky couldn’t look him in the eye. 

He pulled the alpha over to one side, away from the small group of people still filing past them. 

“Bucky, I mean it. I shouldn’t have asked.” He really did mean it. The longer Bucky said nothing the more Steve felt bad for being hurt and angry whilst simultaneously feeling more hurt and angry. 

“It’s ok. I understand… Did you have to…” Bucky finally spoke and looked up, his words trailing off as he did but Steve was sure he knew what Bucky had stopped himself from asking. 

“The tool? Yeah… I…” Steve felt a rush of blood in reddening his cheeks and he rubbed a hand over the back of neck and cleared his throat as he took his turn to avert his eyes. “It was ok. It wasn’t… once I was...” An audible swallow. How could he tell his friend that, whilst uncomfortable and a little painful, after two days of slick the knotting tool had slid into him like a hot knife through butter? He felt his face redden further.

“It’s ok, I don’t need details.” He could hear the attempted humour in Bucky’s voice and yet it fell a little flat. Bucky cleared his throat. “Look, I gotta go…” he motioned with his hand and then walked off before Steve could say anything.

Steve watched Bucky leave, a stab of pain running through him. He couldn’t help but think that their friendship was never going to be the same again and he had no idea how to fix it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's request for Bucky's help during his first heat has driven a wedge between them that neither seem able to get passed. Only the threat of war drives Bucky to action.

**1936, New York**

Steve saw Bucky at the back of the church and a lump rose in his throat, his mum would have appreciated him being there. She had asked after him a lot when they first stopped hanging out. Steve had eventually resorted to telling her that people grow apart, it was hard for omegas to stay friends with alphas, different interests, different friends. She hadn’t protested, but she hadn’t needed to - he could see it in her eyes: not them, not after all the years of friendship. She knew, but never voiced or questioned further, that something must have happened between them for them to fall out in this way. 

_It’s what happens if you ask your best friend to have sex with you. It’s what happens when they reject you._

He shook the thoughts from his head as he was leaving the church. By the time the congregation was outside he couldn’t see Bucky. And that was probably for the best. He didn’t need that today. That weird awkwardness that was between them now, had been since that day during his first heat. 

Bucky had avoided him after that, barely spoke to him when they did run into each other. In the end Steve just gave up, it was too hard to keep pushing when Bucky barely could look him in the eyes. If Bucky didn’t want to be friends any more that was his look out. 

As the crowd dispersed he shook hands once more with Father Reed and slinked away to a quiet spot in the cemetery - a bench under a tree. It wasn’t the first time he had sat there contemplating life - but usually when coming to visit his father’s grave. The thought was wrenching. Even so he sat there a good long while before he was ready to make the journey back to an empty home.

Steve was almost at his door when he caught a scent on the air - an alpha. He felt suddenly vulnerable and wary. A natural reaction perhaps to now being totally alone in the world, no parents or alpha to guide and protect him. Which was ridiculous given he was a grown man now, but he knew from when his dad had died - grief can make people act strangely. 

The scent grew stronger and he realised someone was behind him. He turned sharply, never one to run from a confrontation, but was surprised to see Bucky. 

His once friend looked sheepish and appeared to be searching for the right words. 

“We looked for you after. My folks wanted to give you a ride from the cemetery.”

Steve couldn’t help his frown, and there was maybe a little bit of a sneer thrown in there. They had barely spoken in years and here he was in front of him. 

“I didn’t see you. Besides I just...kind of wanted to be alone.” He could hear the anger in his own voice and tried to dial it down a notch. He didn’t want to get into any of this right now. Didn't want to scream in Bucky’s face that he had no right to try and be there for him now after deserting their friendship because of one stupid thing. Steve may have considered at the time that asking for Bucky’s help during his first heat had been awkward and felt inappropriate to the alpha, but it had gone beyond that. And now he was angry, had been for years - angry at the apparent fragility of their friendship and angrier still that it took his mom’s death for Bucky to even say more than two words to him!

Steve just stared, tight lipped at the alpha, wondering what he possibly could say!

“I was gonna ask…” Bucky started and then looked unsure. He looked down at his feet. 

“What?” The word was snapped out, angrier than Steve had intended but no less than he felt. 

Bucky looked up at him then with a sort of determination in his eyes. “I didn’t… I didn't think you’d want to be alone. You’d be welcome to stay… We can put the couch cushion on the floor like when we were kids.” Bucky paused but didn’t look away. In fact a lopsided smile spread across his face and he placed a firm hand on Steve’s shoulder. He continued lightly, as though nothing wrong had ever happened - “It'll be fun. All you gotta do is shine my shoes, maybe take out the trash…”

Bucky’s face fell when he realised that his attempts at, what? Friendship? Were obviously not going over on Steve. In fact Steve just felt angrier than before and despite every omega need within him crying out to be protected and comforted in his grief, he wanted nothing at all from James Barnes!. 

“I can get by on my own.” The words practically snarled out as he shrugged Bucky’s hand from his shoulder. 

Another pause then and at first Steve thought Bucky was going to leave, but instead he finally spoke again, softly and unsure -

“The thing is, you don't have to. I’ll be... I'm with you till the end of the line, pal.”

Steve turned and walked to his front door, kicking over the brick next to it to retrieve a key, before turning back.

“We’re not _pals_ Bucky. We haven’t been for a long while, and that appears to have been your choice.”

He closed the door firmly behind him.

**1942, New York**

“Welcome to the war effort son!” The recruitment officer shook his hand firmly, almost painfully, and Bucky swallowed back a gulp and took the stamped paperwork he was then handed. “You’ll get your papers in due course. Your bus for basic training leaves here a week Monday. Next!” 

He was sort of in a daze when he got out onto the street. He hadn’t realised it would be that easy. But then, when they were even starting to sign up omegas for field duty, it was a clue they weren’t being all too selective. The thought of omegas immediately had Steve jumping to mind. He so easily came to mind even after all this time. Now that they had graduated they rarely ran into each other, but if Bucky knew anything about Steve it was that he had likely signed up the moment they announced that they were taking omegas.

He didn’t register immediately that he had started walking in the direction of Steve’s place until he was halfway there from the recruitment centre. He stopped. The thought of Steve still brought a pang of hurt to his chest. Did he still love him? Maybe? He had loved the Steve he had known all those years and he likely hadn’t changed much. All that had changed was that Bucky couldn’t be around him. He wanted to, he wanted to try - he had even planned to once but he could tell all the way across the classroom that Steve had been going into pre-heat and so he steered clear. He admonished himself time and time again that it was so ridiculous - alphas and omegas could be friends, just friends. It wasn’t that hard was it? 

It was if you were in love with the omega, he guessed. 

He even toyed with the idea back then, when they were still really just kids, of confessing his love to Steve. What harm would it do considering they were already losing their friendship? But he couldn’t do it. He knew Steve didn’t love him so why put himself through the rejection? It would have been one thing before, but now they had both presented the rejection would be something else. Not just kids being kids, it would _mean_ something somehow. It would mean Bucky wasn’t worthy and he already knew that and didn’t need to be told. 

He had no one to confide in about it, so he let it sit sourly in the pit of his stomach. Steve, the sickly little omega. But to anyone who got to know him, his appeal would be clear! If they knew his purity of heart, his courage, his mind. 

Bucky shook away the thoughts he had tried so hard never to let himself dwell on. And yet he realised he had started walking again and was almost at Steve’s block. Maybe he would knock on the door. He might not be there anyway, and if he was… he would just… say hi. He tried not to let himself think about the reason he was really dragging himself there. The one that niggled at the back of his mind - that he had signed up and he didn’t want to die without seeing Steve again, apologising, saying goodbye.  
It was only when Steve answered the door and Bucky registered the look of surprise that he realised they hadn’t seen each other since the day of Sarah Roger’s funeral.   
Steve looked ruffled and a bit worse for wear. He looked sick. 

“Ah shit Steve, I’m sorry… I can come back…” He was turning to go when two things pulled him back: Steve stepping forward saying “Bucky wait!”; and the scent that burst out with him like a plume of smoke engulfing him. Heat was descending and Bucky wanted the ground to swallow him up.

“Oh fuck, Steve. I’m… I’ll come back another time…”

“Bucky please.” Steve’s voice was small, and Bucky had to turn back and look at him. “Please come in. I can make us coffee…”

“But… I don’t want to… intrude.” His mouth and throat were so dry it hurt. Why? Why of all times, why did he have to come here now? He was still considering turning and leaving when he realised he had walked into the apartment and the door had clicked shut behind him. 

It looked much the same - the door opened into the kitchen, still the same heavy wooden table only it was covered in sketchpads and pencils, and the smell of Irish stew and dumplings that he had come to associate with the place when he was a kid, no longer lingered. Not with Mrs Rogers gone. So the same, but a little less Sarah and a little more Steve. It made his heart ache. Such a gradual change that had likely been, but it hit him so hard for not having witnessed it over time. 

Steve put a pot of water on the stove and then took a seat at the table. He seemed to centre himself for a moment, looking at a sketch he had been working on, before looking up at Bucky. 

“It’s ok… I’m ok. Take a seat.” He indicated the opposite chair at the table and Bucky took it slowly. The worry must have been evident on Bucky’s face because Steve suddenly broke into a quirked smile. “It’s ok Buck, I’m not going to ask you to knot me! This isn’t my first heat!” 

Bucky let out a breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding and a relieved chuckle. Not at the words, but at the ease with which Steve had said them. _I missed you._ He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to ground himself. As Steve had learned to maintain control in his heats over the years, so had Bucky with being around omegas in heat and with his own rut. But that was easier said than done when you had been in love with them. Were in love with them? 

Steve was watching him intently, expectantly. Of course, Steve must be wondering why he had come. He cleared his throat. 

“I uh… I signed up. They’re going to send me my shipping orders after basic. I just… I didn’t want to…”

“You wanted to say goodbye.” Not a question, and a sort of sad look in Steve’s eyes. 

“I… I wanted to say hello. I wanted to… say sorry.” He wasn’t sure where the words were coming from. All those damn newsreels with their war correspondence. He didn’t know if he was coming back, he just knew he had to go, to do what was right. To do what Steve would do. “I don’t want to die with regrets… I regret that we aren’t friends any more and that is on me.” He spoke softly and when Steve didn’t reply, he mumbled - “Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori. Well, that might happen and…” 

“Did you just quote Horace at me? Or was it Wilfred Owen?” Steve seemed amused. A small grin appearing on his slightly strained face.

“We learned it in literature class.” Bucky shrugged and felt heat rise in his face. 

“I know Buck, I was there.” A light chuckle from Steve. 

He missed that so much, how easy Steve was with himself. He got beat on so much as a kid and yet never disliked himself, only what he couldn’t do. And that had always driven him to do more, be more. He never ran from a fight even after he presented as omega - Bucky knew, had seen the evidence of it in the school halls - Steve roughed up and bloody after lunch break. 

“I missed you.” The words fell out but the smile that spread across Steve’s face made it worth it. For a moment, but then the smile was gone. 

“I know I made things awkward between us Buck, but… It hurts that you just dropped me after that. You were my best friend, couldn’t we have worked through it?” 

“That isn’t… that’s not what…”

“What Bucky?” A raised voice now and Bucky noticed Steve had clenched his fists. “What happened? Was what I asked really that bad that it had to drive us apart like that?”

“No, no… it wasn’t that Steve. This is all… I’m… I shouldn’t have come here.” Bucky was on his feet and heading to the door. This wasn’t the conversation he had wanted and yet how else did he think it was going to go down? Steve slid from his own chair and cut him off. 

“You can’t do that Bucky. You can’t come and tell me that you’re going off to war and that you missed me and not tell me why the hell you haven’t spoken to me for the best part of ten years!”

“Fuck.” Bucky ran a hand roughly over his face. Yes, it had been that long and his chest didn’t ache any less for it. 

“Did me asking you to… did it really upset you that much?” Steve was shaking his head as though trying to work it out. There was a slight perspiration across his upper lip and his thin, cheap t-shirt was starting to cling to his skinny frame. The scent of slick was starting to feel thick and heavy in Bucky’s lungs. Bucky wanted to kiss him, claim him. It seemed ironic that it was love that held him back. 

“No Steve it wasn’t that it was… You… You didn’t really want me.” He hadn’t planned on saying it, but the moment the words left his mouth he knew he had to. This might be it, the only time he would see Steve, the last time he would see Steve. 

Steve was frowning as if he still didn’t understand and Bucky realised he should have said all this years ago. Should have explained and taken his lumps then, they might even have been able to salvage a friendship if he’d been able to get over Steve. 

“Steve I… I wanted to. I wanted to real bad. I wanted you. I always did, before… and then, you wanted me. But you didn’t. It wasn’t me you wanted or needed and that’s ok. I get it, I get that you were in heat. But I couldn’t do that, it would’ve hurt too much. I couldn’t just have sex with you and then pretend everything was ok when really I wanted to mate you and claim you and that wasn’t ok, because you’re a prize Steve. A fucking prize! You’re smart and talented and funny and I knew the second another alpha, a better alpha, really saw you for who you are then I didn’t have a chance. But… more than that. I wanted you to be you, I wanted you to draw and read and learn and get a great job that you deserved and have an amazing career and not have some dumb alpha holding you back from doing all that just because of… of... Fucking biology or some shit!” Bucky finally stopped to draw breath. 

Steve was gawking at him like he’d grown two heads. And then his face darkened and he lowered his eyes. 

“We were friends Bucky, why couldn’t you tell me any of this back then?” The words were angry and tinged with pain. 

“Steve, I’m sorry… I know I fucked up our friendship and I don’t expect anything from you. I just, I needed to not… I didn’t want to die without saying sorry.” 

Steve’s silence weighed heavy on him, not helped by the ever increasing scent of Steve coming into heat. 

“I’m sor-” Bucky tried to repeat but Steve cut him off. 

“I need you to leave now Bucky.” His words were firm, cold and hard. He reached around and opened the door, stepping aside and leaving the path clear for Bucky. “Please leave.”

*

It was a week before Steve was through his heat and able to start processing what Bucky had told him. And he really still wasn’t entirely sure what he had been trying to say with the heat coming on. But it damn sure had sounded like Bucky was telling him he couldn’t help him through his heat all those years ago because he was in love with him? Or wanted Steve to want him? To be in love with him? Was that right? Was that what had happened?

It had all started to get mussed up and confusing in his mind so he’d had to ask Bucky to leave. It was too much to try and take in but also… there was so much power in an alpha saying they loved you. He had learned that in the last few years. Or rather, hadn’t. Had tried to date, find a suitable mate but he had never been the right one for them even if he had grown fond. Never unrequited love, never as deep as that, but a knowledge of what having the right alpha profess love could mean. How that could affect an omega. 

And he couldn’t hear that from Bucky. He hadn’t been sure in that moment why. 

He had endured his heat and then a few days of feeling rough and sick that came with it for him. His constitution was never going to be the best. He had been reflecting on that, after a short asthma attack, and knew he’d never find an alpha. But, he didn’t need one. He was happy enough. He might be small and sickly and weak but he could stand up for himself - keep standing up, keep getting back up every time he was knocked down. Endure the way he was pitied or laughed at. Because he had managed just fine since his dad had died, since Bucky had ditched him, since his mum passed. 

He’d never considered himself attractive to an alpha. And he had never really thought about Bucky like that. He’d never really thought of Bucky as an alpha even after Bucky had presented. It only sunk in when he’d had his first heat and then it was beside the point because Bucky had dropped him from his life. And deep down he’d always thought it was because he was an omega. If he’d presented as alpha or beta then perhaps Bucky would have stuck around. But who wanted to be friends with an omega that wasn’t even fit for breeding? It wasn’t a nice thought in this day and age, but some people still thought of things in those terms. He had assumed at first that Bucky had been upset by Steve asking such a thing of him, but over time and the deliberate avoidance of eye contact in class; watching Bucky turn in the corridors when he saw him - yeah it had become clear that there was more of a problem there. And Steve couldn’t help but consider he was the problem. They had been inseparable once, and it had been a lot for him to go through - right on the tail of his first heat - to lose that friendship. To feel so utterly worthless and rejected. 

So what Bucky had come to say, what he had said - what Steve had understood of it at least, in his heat addled brain - made no sense at all. He was sure he had misunderstood the whole thing, and yet there was a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach about it all. 

He missed Bucky, had always missed him. Missed how close they were, a closeness he’d never found again within anyone else, never really wanted with anyone else. A closeness that he imagined, fantasised about, when his heat came. 

Steve’s palms were a little sweaty and he rubbed them on his pants. He felt a little sick and knew it wasn’t just his stomach playing up. There was something clawing inside him that he had tried to ignore for the longest time. That he had pushed down and on some level hadn’t even known about. 

Because it hurt too much. 

Because when his friend rejected him - declined helping him through his heat, it had hurt that his friend hadn’t been there for him, even so, he understood. But when it had ended their friendship, he’d been devastated. It had hurt too much to deal with. And a large part of that was dealing with being rejected by an alpha, by a potential mate as far as his basic biology was concerned. A natural defense to it also cut him off from thinking about it, processing it in a way he perhaps should have.  
His chest constricted a little as memories poured through his mind, and he tried to take deep breaths to avoid another asthma attack. He remembered all the times he hadn’t needed Bucky’s help and yet Bucky had been there anyway. He remembered being pushed down by a bully after school, getting back up and socking the guy in the jaw - not that it had any kind of effect - and then Bucky had been there and the guy had run without another word. 

_”I don’t need you to fight my battles!” Anger in his tone as he brushed dirt off his pants and looked at Bucky’s grinning face._

_“I know, but we were going to go to the movies tonight. I didn’t want us to be late.”_

_How did he do that? How did he reassure and mean it? Because Steve knew he meant it, that Bucky wanted not to miss the cartoon reel. Otherwise he’d let Steve take a few licks first, only step in if there was a chance he might really get injured. And only then Steve knew it would be for his mom - Bucky wouldn’t want Steve’s mom to worry._

_“You’d let him beat the crap out of me wouldn’t you?” Steve’s mouth curved into an involuntary grin._

_“Nah!” Bucky replied, grabbing Steve around the shoulders and starting to walk with him. “He’d have got tired, got bored of you getting back up again and left off before he could do any real damage.” Bucky smiled down at him and Steve felt his heart swell._

*

Bucky opened the door part way and then stopped, surprised. 

“Your… uh, your mom gave me your address.” Steve shuffled from foot to foot, looking nervous. 

“Sure. Um, sorry, come in.” Bucky opened the door the whole way but Steve didn’t move. Bucky had never really seen him look so nervous. Not even when he was having the shit kicked out of him by the neighbourhood bullies as a kid. 

“I just… I wanted to try and… When you came over I was a little out of it, I wasn’t sure.” He stopped and took a deep breath and looked down at his feet before continuing in a near whisper. “Were you trying to tell me you were in love with me?”

Bucky felt a spark of something inside him, he couldn’t put a name to it - perhaps some sort of anticipation - either way it made his palms sweat and the hair on his neck stand up. He fought the automatic urge to rub his hand over his scent glands.

“I uh… yeah Steve. That’s what I was trying to say.”

Steve looked up and their eyes met. The omega’s expression a bizarre mixture of realisation and confusion. “Oh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note: The next update is due to go up the w/e of 24/25 Sept but I'm actually going to be away on holiday and I don't know what my net access will be... so it may go up late. Apologies <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys finally get a clue and sort themselves out, but war is looming!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been asked a few times how far this fic is going... well, my answer is always "to the end of the line." of course! I have this plotted out to the end of Civil War. Whilst there will be angst along the way as is inevitable considering that I will be hugging the MCU canon as closely as possible, I can assure you that the ending will be so happy and sweet that you might just get a toothache XD
> 
> This chapter beta’d by the amazing Victorine who I have now turned into a Stucky shipper *fist pumps the air*

**1943, New York**

“Please, don’t Steve. I don’t… I can’t lose you,” Bucky pleaded, not for the first time. Every time Steve tried to get accepted at one of the recruitment centres, Bucky was terrified that he would be.

The last couple of months had been bliss. He had Steve.

The little omega had come to him and asked the scariest question anyone ever could, and Bucky had given the scariest answer. He’d been so unsure what would happen, and half expected Steve to turn on his heel and leave. But instead he had pushed through the front door and closed it firmly before reaching his hands up and cupping Bucky’s face and drawing him into a sweet kiss. It had been chaste and perfect.

They had taken things slowly, wanting – needing – to see if those feelings were still there after all this time, if they were even real. And Bucky had spent weeks in basic, then returned knowing exactly how he felt from the way he had missed Steve, terrified that Steve hadn’t felt the same emptiness whilst he was gone, and elated to discover he had.  
But they were both cautious. Bucky could get his orders any day and they’d be separated again for god only knew how long, possibly forever. Even so, they were clearly both in this deep and that was what made Steve's insistence on joining up so difficult for Bucky to deal with.

“How can you say that to me when you’re going, when you are already in the army and waiting to be shipped out? How can you tell me I shouldn’t be doing the same?” Steve seemed more exasperated than angry, it wasn’t the first time they’d had this argument.

It was hard for it to not seem like an alpha-omega thing, like what was good for one wasn’t for the other, and Bucky truly hoped Steve knew he didn’t see things that way. But there was no getting around the fact that Steve wasn’t in the best of health and the trenches would likely kill him before the Germans had the chance.

“I can’t lose you, not again.” Bucky hung his head. “I don’t want to fight. Do what you need to Steve, but just know I… I care and...” his words were choked off by his own sob as small hands reached for his face. Steve drew up his face until they were eye to eye.

“How do you think I feel about you shipping out?”

Bucky’s eyes stung as he pulled Steve to him in a too tight hug that made Steve cough out a laugh.

*

Bucky waited outside the picture house, newspaper in hand. He wasn’t entirely sure Steve had gone to watch the newsreel as he’d said, or whether he had gone to another recruitment centre. He was sure Steve would’ve told him if that was the case… unless he was trying to avoid yet another argument. The only thing they argued about. Arguments that usually ended with tender words and soft kisses.

Never much more. Soft kisses, softer touches but that was all. Bucky longed to make love with Steve but would take it as slowly as the omega needed. After everything that had passed between them, there had to be a certainty there. He understood it, with Steve not needing to explain – if they were together now and then he had to spend his heat alone, it would be difficult. He knew that Steve wanted to and was prepared to go through heats without him for as long as it took, as long as he knew that they were for real. Once this honeymoon period wore off and the reality of them and of the world and the horrors everyone faced, settled in. And now Bucky knew for sure, wearing his crisp uniform and orders folded neatly into his pocket, that he wouldn’t be around. He was pained with the simultaneous feeling of wanting to be with Steve more than anything, but not wanting to leave him to his heat alone.

He was steeling himself for what his next conversation with Steve might bring, when he heard a scuffle coming from the alley next to the cinema.

“You just don't know when to give up, do you?” A big beta with an attitude loomed over his Steve, but he held back for a moment.

“I can do this all day.” Steve's retort made Bucky smile. Always so feisty, and never willing to back down from a bully.  
Only as the fighting seemed like it was about to begin again did Bucky step in and chase off the asshole. “Sometimes, I think you like getting punched,” he joked, helping Steve to his feet.

“I had him on the ropes,” Steve returned with a small smile.

Bucky immediately spotted the enlistment papers on the ground that must be Steve’s. He picked them up and studied them for a moment. He must have gone to a centre before the cinema. “How many times is this?” Bucky bit back any further words he might have said another day, but not today.  
Steve seemed surprised that he didn’t say more, but then looked him over, taking in the uniform. “Did you get your orders?”

“The one-o-seventh. Sergeant James Barnes. Shipping for England first thing tomorrow.” He gave a salute as lacklustre as his words. He had been waiting for this for so long, had even looked forward to it before things had become romantic with Steve. And now he had to leave his omega.   
Not his, he had to remind himself. Not mated, not bonded.

“I should be going.” Steve words came out in a frustrated sigh that Bucky was unable to deal with. Instead he changed the subject.

“Come on, man! It's my last night. Gotta get you cleaned up.”

“Why? Where are we going?”

“The future.” Bucky handed Steve his newspaper with a smile – the page opened at the World Exposition ad.

*

They walked around for awhile, taking in the sights on what could be their last date. Steve was still letting the words sink in, the words that made him want to weep – Bucky was shipping in the morning. So soon! He knew that once the orders came they could be short notice, but this was so painful he couldn’t even think about it.  
Instead he took Bucky’s hand and leaned into him, savouring his scent, as they walked through the fair. They looked at the exhibits, watched Howard Stark demonstrate an almost flying car, and grabbed some candy floss which Bucky insisted on feeding him between sticky fingers. All the while ignoring the uniform, ignoring the looming and inevitable separation they faced.

Ignoring everything until they passed a recruitment centre and Steve stopped. It was almost second nature to keep trying now. He truly believed that he had no right to give less than anybody else, but even more so since Bucky had come back into his life. Since he had realised the depth of his own feelings for the alpha. He knew he couldn’t protect Bucky even if they were together, but part of him knew he’d feel better if he was subject to the same dangers, if he had a better understanding of what was ahead.

“You really gonna do this again?” Bucky’s tone was gentle and he squeezed Steve’s hand as they stood there facing the centre.

“Well, it's a fair. I'm gonna try my luck.” Steve smiled and tried to keep his tone light.

“As who? Steve from Ohio? They'll catch you. Worse, they'll actually take you.” Bucky tried and failed at levity.

“Look, I know you don't think I can do this…” He was angry that Bucky didn’t support him, he was so fed up of this same argument over and over considering that Bucky himself would be gone in the morning.

“This isn't a back alley, Steve. It's a war!” He felt a stab of pain, noting the fear in Bucky’s voice. So many had signed up for fortune and glory, Bucky had signed up to do his duty, and he was as terrified as they should all be.

“I know it's a war. You don't have to tell me.” Steve tried not to sound as torn up as he felt. He didn’t want to have this fight here, he didn’t want to have it at all, he wanted to be in Bucky’s arms.

“Why are you so keen to fight? There are so many important jobs.” Bucky’s tone was pleading now.

“What am I gonna do? Collect scrap metal...” Steve rolled his eyes. They were accepting omegas now, he had to try.

“Why not?”

“I'm not gonna sit in a factory, Bucky. Bucky, come on! There are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That's what you don't understand. This isn't about me.”

Both men let out exasperated sighs. Finally Bucky pulled Steve to him and placed a kiss in his hairline.

“Go. Do what you need to do. I will be at home if you want to come over.” Bucky gave a thin smile as he pulled back and walked away. Steve watched him go and wanted to run after him, wanted to spend the evening with him.

He looked at the centre and then to Bucky who was now lost to the crowds. He would try this one last time and that would be it. As soon as he was done he would go to Bucky’s place and spend their final evening together.

*

Steve was still reeling. 

Despite his hopes, he had to admit, that he had been less and less certain he would be allowed to enlist. Surprise had registered before happiness when the strangely enigmatic Dr Erskine had had his papers stamped and given him his orders for basic. A special program.

He would leave in the morning just like Bucky, but on a different bus. For which he was glad. He wasn’t really sure what he had gotten himself into. Either way, he wasn’t going to tell Bucky. Not tonight.

He would write once he was there and knew what was going on. He couldn’t tell Bucky what he least wanted to hear on their last night together.

He knocked on Bucky’s front door and waited. When the alpha opened it Steve finally took him in properly, still dressed in his uniform, though it had been loosened at the neck. He was so very handsome, not just the clothes but the way he carried himself in them.

Steve remained on the doorstep for a moment, smiling at Bucky as he said – “When you came over to my place after you signed up, to tell me… And I was going into heat and I didn’t really know where my head was…” Steve grinned at Bucky’s puzzled look. “I thought… I don’t know, I was sort of out of it… When you told me you’d signed up I thought you were just… I didn’t think you wanted me before and you just wanted to sleep with an omega in heat before you shipped out. I didn’t know how to feel about that, I wouldn’t have been your only option. But I couldn’t have done it if it didn’t mean anything because the thought of you going to war and dying kills me.” _It will kill me_ \- he added silently.

Bucky pulled him through the door and closed it as his lips crushed to Steve’s in a deep kiss. He held him close and Steve’s chest tightened. But Steve broke the kiss, knowing he needed to say what he wanted to whilst he had this chance. He had to say the words he'd been holding inside him for the last few weeks.

“I love you Bucky. I’m in love with you. I want us to bond, I want us to…” He bit his lower lip as the words dried up.

They couldn’t bond until he was next in heat, but they could consummate their love before they were separated. In that moment there was nothing he wanted more.

*

Bucky felt a shiver run through him when Steve told him that he loved him. He had loved Steve for as long as he could remember, and hearing those words was the greatest happiness he had experienced. That it came the night before he shipped out made him ache with sadness and regret. Why had they wasted so many years? Why had _he_ wasted them?

Steve had been over plenty of times, but they'd never gone so far as Bucky’s bedroom. He couldn't doubt that Steve knew where it was though, as the omega gently took his hand and led him there. Steve's hand trembled as he tried to open the door, Bucky put his own over Steve's and turned the knob. As the door swung open Steve let out a nervous tinkle of laughter. 

“I'm kinda nervous.”

Bucky let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. “Me too.” He smiled and they just studied each other for a moment.

They'd talked about sex before. Bucky knew Steve had fooled around here and there but was still a virgin. He'd fooled around too, slept with a couple of betas - it had never seemed right to court another omega. One that wasn't Steve, even when he'd had no hopes of getting him. Their past experiences didn't seem relevant in this moment, but that didn't lessen the nerves he felt.

“This…” Steve started then stopped, looking at Bucky intently, both their hands still on the doorknob. “It’s not goodbye. I didn't want you to think that. This isn't because we might not… it's to give us something. Um, hopefully, something good that we have to come back to.”

Bucky smiled and nodded, curling his fingers between Steve's and drawing his hand from the doorknob to his lips, pressing a light kiss to the back, and then the palm. Then he pulled Steve to him and kissed him deeply as he walked them into the waiting room. 

*

With every kiss Steve wished he could turn back time. To some point in the past where one or both of them might have done things differently and allowed for this - for _them_ \- to happen sooner. If not that then at the least earlier enough that Steve had been ready to bond when he was in heat. 

He desperately wished they could bond now. As Bucky slowly undressed him and lay him on the bed, eyes never leaving each other’s as Bucky took off his uniform - Steve never wanted anything more. They belonged to each other and bonding would only make that stronger. It would let them feel each other to some degree… and that was why Bucky had already said he wouldn't bond with Steve if he was still home for his next heat. Steve had felt a little devastated but he understood Bucky’s concern. The thought of what it would do to Steve if they bonded and Bucky died, tore Bucky up. Steve got it, he'd heard the omega-cry from his neighbour when she knew her bonded mate had been killed. He knew Bucky didn't want Steve to go through the breaking of their bond but it was so hard to deny the instinct that Steve felt, that he was almost glad there had never been the opportunity.

The thoughts were pushed from his mind as Bucky crawled over him and took his mouth in a gentle kiss.

*

It felt like Bucky was making love to his whole body with his mouth. His lips and tongue had moved from Steve’s own, down his neck at first – pausing to mouth around his scent glands and the sensitive skin there. Before he moved on Steve was already a collection of breathy sighs and hitched breaths. His own cock painfully harder than he ever realised it could be.

From there Bucky had run his tongue from the hollow of his throat to his navel and back again, which had Steve squirming beneath him. In the times he had been with others and even with Bucky himself, they had always been clothed and it never went further than heavy petting, some cautious over-the-clothes touches. Having someone – having Bucky – lavish this attention to his bare skin had his eyes watering and his throat tight. He never knew this was what it might feel like. Though he couldn’t imagine it would feel like this with anyone other than Bucky. How had he not realised all those years ago Bucky’s feelings… and his own? Which seemed so clear now, crystallised over the time of their recently renewed friendship: how had he not known he was in love with Bucky all those years ago? Yes it had been caught up in those feelings of close friendship that, even with or maybe because of the onset of his heat, were masked further as something else. But wasn’t the truth that in all these years he had never met an alpha that suited him because he had compared them all to the standard in his mind – to Bucky? Yes, there was no denying he was in love with James Barnes.

The light of this acceptance seemed to spark in his mind and travel along his whole body, it reached his cock at the same time Bucky’s mouth did and he cried out as lips and mouth and tongue met his flesh and he let out a sharp cry. For a moment he thought he might have cum already so intense was the sensation, but he hadn’t, he realised after a moment.

“Buck…” Steve groaned out the name and Bucky returned the groan, the vibrations humming around Steve’s dick and causing him to arch up off the bed. His focus was now so wholly on Bucky’s mouth that he didn’t immediately register that one of his hands had slipped between his legs and was now moving gently from his thigh to his hole. Despite not being in heat, the arousal was causing some slick to flow and Bucky easily slipped two fingers inside him.

Steve’s breath hitched again, body arching, face wet with perspiration and tears. “I can’t, please…Bucky…it’s too much… I need…” Steve wasn’t even sure what he needed. It was hard to really think over his pressing arousal and his brain screaming at him - _alpha, alpha, alpha!_

“I’ve got you Steve, I’ll take care of you,” Bucky reassured. He’d pulled off Steve’s cock to answer and then gave a long lick up from base to tip. Steve’s hands gripped the bedsheets beneath him and then scrunched them in his fists when Bucky moved lower still, his tongue lapping at the slick pooling around his fingers that moved gently in and out of Steve. 

The omega initially jolted at the touch of Bucky’s tongue, partly from the sensation and partly from the unexpectedness. Despite this, the action seemed to ignite something within him. When Bucky’s tongue slipped in beside his fingers and penetrated him, Steve’s omega instincts suddenly clarified to a single point that he voiced before thinking –   
“Alpha…need you… please…”

*

When Steve called him alpha, Bucky thought he might lose it.

He had a reasonable amount of sexual experience – enough to know what he enjoyed, which included tasting every bit of flesh he could find, and what others might like. But his experience with betas had not prepared him for this. For the way Steve responded to every slight touch; to the anatomical differences; the sweet ambrosia of slick on his tongue.  
He was painfully hard and was torn between continuing to give and take this pleasure that he had already been enjoying, or to just mate with Steve. He wanted nothing more in that moment to claim Steve, to mount him and mate him and bond with him. Bonding was impossible without Steve being in heat, but even so the desire and instinct was there. All those instincts, and they boiled down to one thing - _claim the omega, knot the omega_. The thought of being tied with Steve and spilling inside him was almost enough to make Bucky cum untouched.

So when Steve uttered that word, those pleading words that Bucky instinctively knew was a request for everything he wanted to give the omega, he couldn’t hold back.

He fought the instinct to flip Steve over and take him roughly, as alphas were driven to do. When they didn’t keep themselves in check, when they didn’t hold themselves higher than their baser selves, which Bucky was determined to do. Because this was Steve. The clever, talented, gentle yet fierce omega that he had fallen in love with when they were still too young to really understand what love was.

Instead, he pulled back, still sat between Steve’s legs - which he slowly pushed further apart, spreading him. He stole a glance down and groaned at the sight before him. Of Steve hard and flush to his belly, of Steve open to him and leaking slick. His cock throbbed in response and he took himself in hand. He fisted his cock slowly a handful of times as Steve lay before him, already a panting mess.

“Steve… you’re so beautiful.” He felt his heart swell. It was fit to burst when a blush crept over Steve’s neck and chest and he moved an arm to cover his face. At that Bucky moved forward and took Steve’s hand, moving his arm back so that he could look into the omega’s eyes. “Don’t hide from me Steve.”

Steve smiled. “I’m… I’m not hiding, I’m…” his cheeks darkened and he tried to hide behind his arm again but Bucky held it fast. A short lived and playful struggle ensued which ended with Steve letting out a huff of laughter as Bucky pressed his body to the omega’s, arms clamped down so that he couldn’t hide his face.

The laughter brought a grin to Bucky’s face and a small relief to the intensity that had been building and threatening to overwhelm them both. He leaned in and kissed Steve, their smiling mouths sliding together as he moved his body up, and slowly pressed himself against Steve’s waiting entrance.

*

Steve groaned into his kiss and let his legs spread further and his hips arch up as Bucky pushed steadily into him. He was so wet and aching to be filled that the stretch was more pleasure than discomfort. And so good. So very good. He wanted to stay in that moment forever – both of them groaning into the kiss now as Bucky continued to move inside him, pulling back ever so slightly now and then, until he was completely filling Steve and moving gently.

The kiss broke and he panted. He could feel fresh tears budding in the corner of his eyes at the overwhelming sensation.

“Please alpha…” he hadn’t even realised the words were his until they slipped from his mouth.

Bucky’s groan was almost a roar in response and he began to thrust harder. The motion stole Steve’s breath and he automatically pulled his legs up and around the alpha, allowing him deeper. He snatched breaths here and there, unable to intake them fully as Bucky began to fuck into him. Steve’s mouth fell open, involuntary sounds escaping from it, as he was pressed hard to the mattress. He had never known he wanted this, the same way he hadn’t realised for so long that he wanted – needed – Bucky. He of course had the same instincts and desires as all omegas, especially when in heat, but he dismissed them as this – nothing more than biology. But the feeling now of being filled so fully, of having his prostate grazed and rubbed in a way that was building a pool of pleasure in his tightening abdomen, was something he needed beyond instinct. He needed it beyond reason. Needed Bucky.

Bucky’s breath puffed against the side of his neck, their bodies connecting at every point possible, Steve’s straining cock trapped between them. With a whimper, and no real understanding of his own actions, Steve pushed Bucky back. The alpha held himself above Steve on strong arms. Steve took his face in his hands and kissed him hard and passionately, tongue sliding against Bucky’s as the alpha’s thrusts stilled. Steve pulled back and gave another sharp shove, groaning as the backward movement had Bucky pulling out of him. With no hesitation Steve manoeuvred himself – turning so that he was on all fours. He lowered his head to his arms, braced on the pillow, his ass high and an expectant look thrown over his shoulder.

He heard Bucky swallow thickly before he felt the gentle caress of Bucky’s hand running over his rump. And then Bucky’s tongue was inside him again and he squirmed at the sensitive action. Bucky’s hands shot to his hips, holding him in place as he began to fuck him with his tongue in a room filled with no sounds other than their mixed pleasured moans and grunts.

*

When Steve had turned, Bucky’s first instinct had been to mount him and fuck him hard into the bed. Maybe Steve would even like that, but he reined himself in, determined to maintain enough control to ensure this was the parting Steve hoped it would be. He dove into that waiting and now stretched hole with his tongue while he stroked himself slowly. He lapped and licked and fucked with his tongue as he let his racing heart calm a little – until he finally felt himself back in control.

And then he gave one last, long lick up Steve’s crack, before trailing kisses along his spine, over his shoulder and finally nuzzling into Steve’s neck.

“Please…” Another groaned plea from Steve which Bucky couldn’t deny. He re-entered the omega, sliding easily to the hilt where he stilled for a moment. He was already so close. He’d never had sex like this before, never anything this intense and completely consuming.

He made hard, shallow thrusts from the angle he had found, and on the third thrust Steve let out a cry and pushed back onto him. Trying to replicate the pleasure for the omega, Bucky continued to angle his thrusts, over and over as Steve came apart beneath him. He could feel the sweat between them as his chest lay over Steve’s back.

When Steve started to grind back against him desperately, Bucky slipped a hand around and took hold of Steve’s cock. Steve groaned and arched into him as he started to pump Steve in time with his own thrusts. They moved together perfectly and were both letting out muffled sounds with each thrust and Bucky knew they were both close.  
Another thrust and he felt his knot begin to swell. Steve must have too because he gasped and then pushed back on the next thrust.

“Bucky, knot me, please… I need you…”

Bucky slowed for a moment, unsure whether he was surprised by the request. “I don’t want to hurt you… you’re not in heat, it…”  
“I know. Bucky, please, it’s ok. I need you.” Steve’s eyes pleaded with him where he looked over his shoulder. “Alpha, I need your knot. I need to feel you. I need to remember how you feel…”

Steve’s words drove away any hesitation he had and he began thrusting again, slow but hard until he gave one sharp, hard thrust that drew a high cry from Steve and pushed his knot part way in. It was still not fully inflated, but Steve was so tight and without the extra slick of his heat, it was a tight fit - likely painful. Bucky made a couple more hard, shallow thrusts. On the third Steve began thrusting his hips back, meeting each thrust until Bucky’s knot was fully inside him and swelling to completion.

“Oh god, oh god…” Steve was muttering over and over.

“Are you ok, did I hurt you?” Bucky was overtaken with concern.

“God, please… it’s so good. Please. I want you to stay inside me forever.” Steve’s voice was thick and hazy. “Please… fuck me. I need you.” He pushed himself back on Bucky’s cock.

Bucky groaned in response – in part at Steve’s uncharacteristic bad language - and began thrusting anew, working Steve’s cock once more, which was already twitching and tightening in his hands. It only took a couple of short thrusts for Steve to convulse and then cry out.

The smaller framed man beneath him shuddered out a cry and came all over his hand and the bed beneath them. Bucky’s own cry joined the sound cutting through the room as his knot was squeezed almost impossibly tight by Steve’s contracting muscles, the same ones that milked his cock. He came hard into Steve, cumming over and over as those muscles gripped him.

“I love you.” He growled next to Steve’s ear between cries of pleasure as he filled Steve with his seed.

*

Steve felt content and sated in a way he never knew he needed. After Bucky had cum several times, all the while gently nuzzling at Steve’s neck with his lips and teeth, they had moved to their sides. Bucky now spooned him on the bed, still inside him, though Steve could feel the lessening pressure as the knot began to deflate, and was already missing the feeling.

He felt a gently puffed sigh against his neck before Bucky lay a kiss there.

“Steve… you’re so beautiful.” Bucky ran his hand over Steve’s side, up and down from hip to chest. “I can’t believe I have to leave you.”

Steve grabbed his hand and stilled it with his own as he interlinked their fingers. His breath caught in his throat and the tightness there, along with the reason behind it, threatened to trigger his asthma. For a moment he considered telling Bucky what he had done, that he would be shipped out in the morning too. He didn’t want to hide anything from him, but how could he tell Bucky what he least wanted to hear? How could he tell him on the night before he went to war that Steve had finally managed to do what Bucky feared he might.

In some ways he knew Bucky should understand – just as Steve understood, after all, that Bucky was going to be in danger and Steve was going to be left behind worrying about that. As much as Bucky wasn’t that typical alpha, he knew some of it was about that on some level – the idea of his omega being in danger without him around for protection would go against his instincts.

 _His_ omega. He was Bucky’s. They might not have bonded but they belonged to each other now as much as they did as children. More so. Steve had never felt before that something, anything, could really be forever. But he knew this was.

*

The morning came too soon. Though it was barely morning. 4am and between several more passionate clinches and utterings of love and adoration, they’d had maybe 2 hours sleep. Bucky felt warm and whole, snuggled in the bed with Steve curled against his back, the omega’s face resting in the crook of his neck with a gentle breath there. He felt Steve stir, his breathing change, as he must have realised Bucky was already awake. Then Steve groaned his displeasure when Bucky pulled from his arms and got out of bed.

There was a chill to the room that made Bucky automatically turn and readjust the blanket he’d just left to ensure that Steve was completely covered. Steve gave him a sleep smile.

“I have to leave soon.” Bucky didn’t need to say it and Steve nodded, trying to keep his smile in place.

“I know.”

“I’ll leave the key, you don’t have to get up.”

“No, I’ll come and see you off… if that’s ok?” Steve started to get out of the bed too. Bucky grinned and took a moment to appreciate the view of the naked omega, before pushing him back and pinning him to the bed again with a grin. Where others might see scrawny and the line of his ribs, Bucky saw the lithe muscles that covered those bones, the smooth skin that covered them.

“I’d like that.” He kissed under Steve’s jaw and across to his neck, nuzzling the scent gland he wished to bite into and make his claim official. “Need to keep an eye on you as long as I can.”

“Pfft!” Steve huffed with an equal grin and pushed him off. “Get dressed you lug. I need to see you in uniform one last time so I can-”

Bucky cut him off with another kiss before pulling back and going to the chair that he had draped his uniform over. He gave Steve a grin and an eyeful of his ass as he bent over to pick up some of the items. That earned him a laugh and a pillow thrown at his head as he straightened up. He pulled on his underwear and dress pants, leaving the belt loose as he paused, and then rifled through his pocket. He hesitated a moment before drawing out what he found there – two pictures folded into a small envelope. He wondered if Steve might think it corny.

“What are you hiding, Barnes?” Steve asked with a smile as he sat up in the bed.

Bucky returned the smile and sat back on the bed, opening the envelope and taking out the pictures – identical images of them from a couple of weeks earlier. One of those random photographers that roamed restaurants and took snaps of lovers about to be parted. He’d had a copy made at the drugstore. Steve had laughed about the photo at the time, but Bucky wondered if he’d just been conscious of how they were viewed by others – as lovers - when they were still taking it so slow.

Bucky swallowed and handed one to Steve – their smiling faces as they sat at a candlelit table.

“Oh,” Steve said as he took it, then smiled wide at the alpha. It warmed Bucky’s heart.

“Silly I know, but I’m taking this one with me. Not that I need it to remember you, I haven’t been able to forget you since we were kids. Don’t need some poxy photo for it-”  
Steve cut him off with a kiss. “It’s great Buck, really great. I… I’m going to miss you.”

Bucky kissed him again and then drew back before he was unable to, before he decided to desert before he’d even got to the front. He stood and went back to the chair, pulled on his undershirt and then grabbed his shirt.

“Yeah, well… it won’t be for long. The war will be over before we know it anyways.” He forced the grin he didn’t quite feel. Steve’s smile dropped and he looked thoughtful, as though he might be about to say something but no words came. “Just… don’t do anything stupid until I get back.” Bucky grinned at Steve, trying to raise the mood again, such as he could with this prolonged goodbye.

Steve did smile at that. “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

Bucky stopped from buttoning his shirt and raised an eyebrow at his lover. “You’re a punk.”

“Jerk,” Steve responded, and another pillow flew at Bucky – easily dodged. He buttoned up the last of his shirt and started to tuck himself into his pants. A less-easily-avoided Steve flew at him then, pressing himself to Bucky and holding him tight. “Just… be careful. And don’t win the war until I get there!”

Bucky smiled into Steve’s hair at the sentiment but so entirely relieved to know there was no way his omega – gentle but fierce – would make it to the battlefield.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on [tumblr](http://desperatelyseekingcannibals.tumblr.com/)
> 
> If you wish to leave kudos and comments I will love you forever!


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